Description

PLEASE NOTE: The ebook version is available for purchase and download today. If you are purchasing a paperback, that is a preorder for this title, which is scheduled to release on August 25th, 2026. 

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Smitty just wanted to pour drinks and drift from town to town. Getting abducted by aliens? Not on the itinerary. But when a busted memory-wiper leaves two grumpy Martians with a very awake, very talkative human on their hands, Smitty talks his way off Earth and onto Goulaub Station — a crossroads space station orbiting a star that might go supernova any millennium now.

Stranded among tentacled commuters, stone-skinned muggers, and constables who charge you for the oxygen you breathe, Smitty does the only thing he knows how to do: he opens a bar. Because whether your customers have three heads or eyes on stalks, they still need somewhere to complain about their bosses, their spouses, and the price of a decent drink.

With help from an unlikely crew — and constant interference from rival lounges, corrupt officials, and the worst house band in the galaxy — Smitty mixes cocktails, dodges shakedowns, and stumbles into a revolution or two. Along the way he learns that running a bar in deep space involves a whole lot more than pouring A into B and stirring.

Equal parts Hitchhiker’s Guide whimsy and Cheers-style charm, this is a laugh-out-loud comic space opera about the universal need for a good pour, a listening ear, and a stool at the end of the bar. Aliens may have stone skin and memory-wipe fluid, but their troubles — lousy jobs, power-hungry bosses, and the hunt for a proper cocktail — will feel achingly, hilariously familiar.

Pull up a bar stool. The glassware’s polished. The cocktails are served. And if you’re lucky, you’ll miss the Hyperbolics’ setlist.